Connections

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My huge, wonderful family. Especially my #1 Daughter and # 1 granddaughter. I am the great great grandfather.

Male, 77¹ in response to being asked what contributes to his overall well-being

For adults 50-plus, maintaining connections with others (family, friends and acquaintances) and continuing to create connections are critical components of emotional health and well-being. Adults are increasingly likely to attribute their joy to family and friends with age. Older adults experience immense love, belongingness, purpose, company, and companionship from their connections with others. Connections are so significant that adults 50 and older also tend to worry about their loved ones more than they worry about themselves. Lacking quality relationships can lead to isolation and loneliness, which can have serious implications for well-being. Topics related to this include:

• Joy and happiness
• Social contacts
• Intimacy
• Concern for others
• Loss
• Social isolation and loneliness

Joy and Happiness

Adults increasingly attribute their joy to family and friends.

The impact of family is especially likely to be felt. In addition to gratitude for the love and support family provides, adults 50-plus describe great enjoyment and pride in family togetherness, quality time and witnessing family members grow up and succeed. Friends are also critical to joy, especially for women and those who are not married.

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Seeing my children as older adults and watching my grandchildren grow up… all the wonderful things we can do together… growing old with my man and having more time to spend together.

Female, 51, in response to being asked what she looks forward to

Adults 50 and older are especially likely to agree that friends are an essential part of a happy and healthy life.

Over nine in ten (93%) adults 50-plus agree with this sentiment (with 68% completely agreeing) versus 87% of adults under age 50 (with 58% completely agreeing). Over eight in ten (86%) adults 50 and older are open to making new friends, with 36% being very open.

Of course, the quality of relationships is fundamental to well-being and older adults rate their relationships higher than younger age groups.

Quality of relationships, including having close bonds, feeling loved, cared for, supported and appreciated are essential characteristics of social connectedness beyond quantity of relationships (which matters too).³ While quality of interpersonal relationships is felt at a very personal level, overall, ratings of relationship quality are higher among older adults. Studies attribute this to the actions of older adults themselves and those they socialize with, including employing strategies to avoid conflict with others developed from years of social experience, perceiving their time left as limited and hence focusing on the most meaningful relationships, as well as tending to focus more on positive experiences, and avoiding negative ones.⁴

Social contacts

While adults 50-plus interact most often with spouses, followed by children and friends, the composition of their social network varies depending on personal circumstances.

For example, in widowhood, children, as well as friends, become increasingly significant for social connection.⁶

An AARP study also found that one in ten adults 50 and older are solo agers, that is, they live alone and do not have a significant other or children. About half of solo agers have five or more friends (52% compared to 66% for adults 50-plus overall). Further, solo agers (57%) are less likely than adults 50 and older overall (66%) to be satisfied with their number of friends.⁷

Women 50 and older have more variety in their social network than men.

Women 50-plus are more likely than men to interact daily with children, friends, grandchildren, siblings, and parents whereas men, who are more likely to be married, are more likely to strongly rely on spouses for interaction. The robustness of one’s social network can have implications for resiliency in widowhood, which is associated with loneliness among men. Women tend to fare better emotionally through this life transition as they tend to have more robust social networks.⁸

Further, although men and women who are solo agers report having the same number of friends, women tend to be more satisfied with the quantity of their friendships than men.⁹

Black and Hispanic adults 50-plus are more likely than White adults to have a wider family network.

Black and Hispanic adults 50 and older are more likely than White adults of the same age to interact daily with children, siblings, grandchildren as well as extended family members. One underlying driver is that Black and Hispanic adults are more likely to live in multi-generational households. Multi-generational living is driven by a number of factors including love, connection, obligation, duty, values of collectivism and interdependence (caregiving for an adult loved one with health or functional needs, adult children living with parents, grandparenting, etc.) as well as financial reasons.

Intimacy

Since the pandemic, adults 50-plus report a need and desire to strengthen connections with spouses.

Specifically, thirty-nine percent (39%) of adults 50 and older say they are looking to connect with their spouse more often than in the past two years.¹⁰

The majority of older adults are sexually active. While sex is important to this group, it is not the most important thing.

Almost two-thirds of adults 50 and over have a regular sexual partner and about half had engaged in sexual intercourse within the week surveyed. Nearly three in five adults 50-plus (58%) agree that sex is a critical part of a good relationship, and two-thirds (67%) say a satisfying sexual relationship is important to them. However, adults 50-plus are more likely to place importance on “a good relationship with a spouse/partner” (86%). Men and those in their 50s are more likely to report placing importance on sex than women and those over age 60.¹¹

Concern for Others

Adults 50-plus are more likely to be worried about the well-being of their loved ones than their personal well-being.

Half of adults 50 and older worry about the well-being of their loved ones always or most of the time, compared to a third who worry about their personal well-being to the same extent. Those ages 50-64, women, and Black and Hispanic adults are especially likely to worry about the well-being of loved ones.

Through one’s 50s, 60s, 70s and beyond, adults worry most about children, compared to other relationship types.

They may be worried about their children’s relationships, or family changes, such as their children having children of their own, getting married or divorced. Adults 50 and older may worry about prospects for children, and the relationship of societal influences to their well-being (e.g., the economy, racism, current events). They also could be concerned about physical safety. As adults 50 and older move into older age, children are more likely to have health issues themselves. Some research suggests that adults might worry (and even lose sleep over) their adult children due to being more aware of what’s going on in their lives, and more involved parenting styles.¹²

Loss

Adults 50-plus worry about losing loved ones, to a moderate extent, with Black and Hispanic adults 50 and older feeling more intense worry.

While older adults 65-plus are more likely to have grieved the loss of a loved one recently, younger adults ages 50-64 are more likely to worry about losing loved ones (perhaps related to anticipating loss versus having lived it).¹⁵

Black and Hispanic adults are especially likely to worry about losing loved ones. Black adults 50-plus were much more likely than White adults to have grieved the loss of a loved one in the past two years (79% vs. 48%). “More frequent exposure to death is a distinctive stressor,” according to studies, and adds to racial disparity in stress exposure, bereavement,¹⁶ and worry.

For Hispanic adults, the central role of family and the prioritization of family togetherness may contribute to heightened concern about losing family members.

Black adults are more inclined than White adults to have expansive fictive kin networks, comprising individuals who consider each other family despite lacking blood relations or marital ties. This factor may also contribute to their increased likelihood of having grieved the loss of a loved one.¹⁷

Moreover, due to a history of racialization and racial violence, for the Black community, grief extends beyond personal losses and also encompasses collective grief. Understanding the unique experience of Black grief requires acknowledging the collective grief.¹⁸

Social Isolation and Loneliness

When thinking ahead to the future, three in ten adults 50-plus fear the idea of being alone.

This fear could, in part, be rooted in ageism—both internalized (individuals may adopt stereotypes of old age as a time of loneliness) or external (practices that exclude older adults) (See Attitudes towards Aging and Ageism). It also may relate to loss of loved ones.

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Being alone[,] having no [one] there for me when I get sick…

Male, 50, in response to what worries do you have with age²⁰

Feelings of isolation and lacking companionship are not uncommon and are especially pronounced among those in poor physical and mental health.

Three in ten adults ages 50-80 report having felt isolated in the past year at least some of the time. The same proportion have lacked companionship.²³ Solo agers are even more likely to experience social isolation compared to other adults 50 and above, with over 4 in 10 (43%) reporting feeling left out.²⁴

Two in five adults ages 50-80 leave the house less than once a week to participate in social or recreational activities, with twenty percent doing so only occasionally (at least monthly), 14% doing so infrequently (periodically throughout the year) and 7% not participating in these activities at all.²⁵ In addition to those in poor health, those who live alone, those ages 50-64, those with lower income, and those with a condition or disability that limits daily activities are particularly likely to experience loneliness or limited social contact.

Adults 50-plus say making new friends can be difficult.

Almost half of adults 50-plus (42%, higher among Black/African American adults 50-plus at 53%) say that it becomes more difficult to make new friends at their age. Perhaps related to this sentiment, 6% of older adults say that they do not have any friends – much higher among Black/African American (13%), Hispanic/Latino (22%), and low-income individuals (12%).²⁸

Key Takeaways

• Family holds significant importance for adults 50 and older, offering both support and fulfillment, with friendships also playing a crucial role particularly for women and those who are not married.

• As individuals age, their desire for strong connections intensifies, with spouses often topping the list of important relationships. While sexual intimacy remains significant in older adults’ lives, maintaining a good relationship with their spouse or partner is pivotal.

• Relationships undergo shifts, reflecting within familial and romantic connections, particularly through major life events such as divorce, or loss. Worries about loneliness and the loss of loved ones are particularly pronounced among those in poor physical and mental health and Hispanic and Black adults.